Relief is a Blessing

Everything right now seems overwhelming. With maintaining grades to social life activities to involvement in church to chemo, sometimes I want to crawl up in a ball in my bed and go to sleep. I don’t want to face the world on those types of days. I cannot seem to shake off whatever hinders me from my full potential.

On these days, relief is scarce. Almost nonexistent if you will.

Truthfully, the only person I need relief from is myself. My life is different now and I have a hard time understanding and grasping that concept. I have unordinary things going on in my life and trying to live how I used to live won’t cut it anymore. I have to adapt daily to get by, and sometimes I give myself too much. I listen to myself too much and that’s a problem because there is a difference between listening to yourself and talking to yourself.

We must talk to ourselves instead of letting ourselves to talk to us.

If we allow ourselves to talk to us, what things do you think we will hear? Things such as ‘You can’t do it’ or ‘You’re not any good anymore’? I believe mostly negative thoughts will form from this, and as a person who takes positive reinforcement better than negative reinforcement, we need more positive reinforcement. If we don’t tell ourselves that we can do it, who else will tell us? The world won’t tell you that. The world will chew you up, spit you out, forget it ate you already, and do it all over again. We must talk to ourselves to find relief through God.

When we think of prayer, we think of talking about ourselves to God. But think of prayer this way: When we pray, we’re talking to ourselves and to God about ourselves.

That’s where I find my relief. Prayer is powerful, and I find my relief in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. His hope, His promise, His glory. All of these things are where I draw my strength from.

I may have the “c” word and I may not always feel the best because of it, but my hope is found in Jesus. The relief I’m constantly blessed with is because of Jesus. I cannot imagine the patients who have chemotherapy every single day. Seriously, I am on the couch at least for one day after chemo and cannot and do not even want to think about getting up the day after to repeat the process all over again.

Just for a minute, imagine I have finished all of my treatments of chemotherapy and that I am cancer-free and in remission. Imagine a normal lifestyle for me. I wake up, go to class, get lunch, hang out with friends, study, and take a nap, all normal like it should be. My question is this: Did I get relief? Ninety-nine percent of people would say well of course you got relief, you beat cancer and you finished chemo which is what made you feel awful and abnormal! Here is where I would differ from those people:

True relief does not come when the problem is resolved, it comes when you realize God is in control.

Read that again.

I will always have problems in my life and I will never be truly relieved until I have accepted the fact that God is in control.

And when I was burdened with worries, you comforted me and made me feel secure.”

-Psalms 94:19 CEV

When God is in control, nothing happens by accident and everything has a purpose. Temporary relief might exist and might feel good, but permanent relief is the only way to always have that comfort.

We must let go and let God.

I found relief in God and you can too. Talk to yourself instead of letting yourself talk to you. Love God. Love yourself. Love your neighbors.

Feed your faith and your fears will starve.